Weekly Horoscope September 4-10 Based on Your Sign
Vertigo (Aug 23-Sept 22)
You will feel a sensation of off balance and dizziness. You may even feel like the world around you is spinning. But don't worry, Vertigos, this is rarely serious for you. Call your doctor, he may prescribe a Zofran.
Libra (Sept 23-Oct 22)
That spoon you haven't washed from last week WILL be washed by at least next week!!
Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21)
The holiday that you're anticipating to happen after Halloween but before Christmas WILL happen around the last Thursday of November. You must wait patiently, though. Something good will happen this week in the mean time.
Saggitario (Nov 22-Dec 21)
Your crush will finally tell you to fuck off.
Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19)
You will indulge in too much food following a celebration. The next day you will wake up too late to go to the gym and eat left over cookies for breakfast. But look out for the day after that: you will eat a salad.
Aquarium (Jan 20-Feb 18)
You might have just gotten dumped but there are many fish in the seas for Aquariums! You can save the fish by donating to the Marine Conservation Institute.
Pisces (Feb 19-March 20)
The pisces of your life will come together on the 12th this month after you buy a new puzzle.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Stop searching for the answers, and let the answers come to you. You will get caught copying homework but don't let it ruin the good thing that will happen on the 7th!
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
You will find great wealth in unexpected places. A handsome suitor will feed you grapes. You will finally get to visit Harry Potter World.
Gemini (May 21- June 20)
The twin you ate in the womb will not come back to haunt you.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
You might feel like you're wasting your time on one project. Leave it and waste your time on another one until both are left unfinished and you are left unsuccessful.
Leo (July 23- Aug 22)
In a year and between approx 30-60 days you will actually be one year older.
This post was brought to you by Ted Zodiac Sign Killer Cruz