ISIS To Start Shooting T-Shirts Into Crowds To Gain Support
Ever since One Direction broke up, ISIS has taken over as the most talked about boy band in the world. After years of President Obama referring to them as ISIL (Islamic State Is Lame)* they exploded out of the indie scene with a killer show in Paris.
But the road to fame hasn't been easy for the polarizing super-group and it appears the negative backlash may have finally broke the camel's back. In an attempt to become more fan friendly, ISIS will be introducing t-shirt launches during their acts.
ISIS member Paul confirmed the efforts. "We feel that we can win over anybody with free t-shirts so now when we're shooting everyone we'll shoot them with bullets and t-shirts."
When asked about this development, local white girl Kelly said "what size is it?" reinforcing that a shirt big enough to wear to bed is good enough for Kelly even if it is says "ISIS: Death to the West Tour 2017" followed by a list of cities and dates as if they were Iron Maiden in South America.