Alt-Right Condemns Chicken Dance As Pro-Trans Propaganda
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—Alt-Right officials have come out of their hate engulfed closets yet again to attack the chicken dance for promoting values they deem immoral. Outspoken guy with big truck Geoff said, "You're either born a chicken or born a duck. No dancing can change God's work. I've never satisfied a woman."
A recent public gathering that onlookers described simply as a "no sleeves and jorts convention" echoed this sentiment. Crowds shouted repeatedly out of sync to the previously established 3/4 measure, "If you dance you're a trans! Protect your kids, arrest the blacks!"
Local chicken dance protester Emmit defended the alt-right's stance and claimed it is actually positive.
"I absolutely hate my life, and attacking other ideas I don't agree with gives my life purpose," Emmit said. "The chicken dance made me very happy as a child but now it makes me confused because God makes me hate trans. What if I don't want to be a chicken or a duck? Doesn't calling us alt-right mean we are an alternative to the right, which would actually be left?"
Storming into an out of order porta-potty, Emmit exclaimed, "I just want to be happy but I'm a man so it's not okay to cry."