The LA 2028 Olympics is Extremely LA Themed: Everything You Need To Know
Officials just officialized that LA will play host to one of the most anticipated international phenomenons of our time: global warming and the plunge of America under sea. But after that happens, they'll host the 2028 Olympic Games. During the next decade, the groovy city of California has much to prepare like cutting the arena grass for the grass-eating competition, growing local, organic and vegan badminton balls, curating the perfect Kombucha that will replace chlorine in all swimming events, tie-dying crop tops and weaving flower headbands.
Olympic towns don't mess around. Each one has brought their own culture to life, like when Russia killed that one guy who messed up the Opening Ceremony. LA will ensure their lifestyle will shine through, also, by adding their charismatic flare.
IWC has the low down on what to expect at the 2028 Los Angeles Olympic Games.
The LA Olympics will be hosted by Pharrell Williams and Chrissy Tiegen.
Replacing volleyball, LA will conduct AcaiBawl. Blend your favorite fruits and acai, add toppings like banana, coconut shreds, cacao nibs, goji berries, gluten free granola and get bonus points for aesthetic.
One event we can't wait for is the matcha brewing competition. The vigorous sport of brewing Japanese green tea has been in the Olympics ever since before everyone else started doing it.
Cage-Free Grass Fed Egg races will go along side the 400 metre sprint, and juicing kale will supposedly take up more TV time than the long-jump in Track and Field, according to social media influencers.
USA's uniforms will be as classic as ever, gleaming with Ralph Lauren Red White and Blue. But since CA will be a separate country by then, their uniforms will consist of $300 Gucci T's, washed denim overalls, Adidas Originals, Celine tote bags and Yeezy Szn 25 hoodies.
The Ultimate Tinder-Swiping Competition will commence the games, followed by "Name That Instagram Fitness Model."
Aspiring screenwriters will be on guard if ANYONE gets hurt and they need to document it for their up-and-coming short film.
All athletes will stay in state-of-the-art cafes with futons, palm-tree tapestries and complimentary pressed kale juices.
If attendees do not have an Instagram handle, one will be provided to them along with a VSCO account for a small fee.
Get your tickets now or wait until Donald Trump isn't President anymore just because!