Idiots Without Credibility

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Beauty and the Beast Actually A Big Gay Porn!

Beauty and the Beast Actually A Big Gay Porn!

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 Disney's The Beauty and the Beast  will be released Friday amid a ton of controversy. America's step-dad Russia is leading the charge of foreign markets that are giving the film adult ratings or are not releasing the film following the film's director Bill Condon revealing that Josh Gad's character LeFou is openly gay. While many are shocked about this revelation, the signs were there all along considering that LeFou has always seemed to desire Gaston, and Gaston in French means "Huge Throbbing Cock." 

Though the homosexuality in the film is said to be limited to two men dancing, our sources say that the entire film is actually a huge gay porn.

According to our sources, the film starts out pretty normal, though the Baker's bread in the opening song "Belle" have sets of balls, adding to French bread's usual phallic appearance. After this all bets are off. When Belle's father Maurice is found by the Beast he immediately starts blowing the animal man exclaiming "this is way better than being mauled by wolves." 

The Beast holds Maurice as his leather clad sex-slave until Belle shows up and ruins all the fun. Maurice furiously leaves. We then meet the remainder of the cast during a huge house wide orgy while Lumierre, voiced by Ewan McGregor, moans to the tune of "Be Our Guest." 

Belle is reluctant to join the sex party between the cups, dressers and clock. The Beast also does not participate for he stays in his room and masturbates. This continues for an hour and a half until the third act begins when Belle reveals she is actually a transgender woman. Cogsworth urges that she use the men's room, resulting in a mansion wide debate about the issue. 

After another quick scene of circle-jerks and reach arounds, Lumierre convinces the Beast that Belle is the one to break the curse in a patented, magical Disney ending that explains that all people are beautiful on the inside and sexy as hell when someone is inside of them. As the various household items penetrate each other to the closing song, they transform back into their sweaty, stanky human forms. Fade to black. A huge bisexual orgy: a tale truly as old as time. So old of a tale that all old people everywhere are really mad about it.

 

Pepsi Can Featured in Ad Is Outraged With the Outcome

Pepsi Can Featured in Ad Is Outraged With the Outcome

Oscars 2017- What to Know Best Original & Adapted Screenplay

Oscars 2017- What to Know Best Original & Adapted Screenplay