We couldn't care less that Katherine Heigl had a baby but now we do
Katherine Heigl, the one in 27 Dresses who always succumbed to Bridesmaid-ism but ended up marrying James Marsden and played a doctor that one time on some show, just had a baby. But no one cares.
In fact, we couldn't care less until yesterday when we actually did care less because Beyonce announced she's having twins.
Heigl apparently cancelled her kid's week old birthday bash because everyone changed their Facebook invitation status from "Going" to "Maybe" after finding out Beyonce is having twins.
Pregnant mothers everywhere are pausing their due dates until the day Beyonce delivers.
Young people everywhere seem to want to follow this trend, stating "I saw Beyonce pregnant with twins so I went out and got pregnant with twins." MTV's "16 and Pregnant" just received a surplus of new applicants and the stock market just went up 72%.
Since Beyonce's pregnancy, Donald Trump has announced that he wants to make America the bets place for the Carter Twins.
Beyonce told IWC that she plans to name the two twins "Barak and Michele" as both a political statement and a mark of obsessive affection for our former POTUS and FLOTUS.
People Magazine stopped the publication of their recent issue, featuring Katherine Heigl and her baby, and instead plan to replace it with Beyonce along with Michele and Barak.
Harvard University cancelled all classes until the Carter Twins are born, NASA postpones their new advanced Mars Rover adventure and Vladimir Putin plans to end all US/Russia conflict once and for all.
North West recently transferred 2 mil of her checkings into her savings, predicting a drop in her net worth after the next few months.
Blac Chyna decided to clone Dream 6 times to make some sort of news because it's not cool to have one baby anymore.
So no Katherine Heigl, we don't care that you had a baby because Madison Square Garden already reserved their venue for the years 2029-2040 so that the new hit duo band, "Carter II" can perform.