So You Want To Buy Body Parts Online: How Does Repealing Net Neutrality Affect You?
The FCC, led by chairman Ajit Pai, voted in favor of repealing net neutrality regulations yesterday leaving many consumers asking how the change will alter how they purchase body parts on the dark web. Here’s what could happen.
The dark web is actually protected by a coalition of wizards that are experts in the dark arts, thus why it is called the dark web. The wizards currently have a shield up that will trick the FCC into thinking the dark web is not real, just like how these wizards have tricked everyone into thinking bitcoin is a real currency. Thanks to these wizards, you can buy as many body parts as you want to play with. Neat!
In the event that the FCC can break the spell, ISP's could potentially slow down your access to certain body part sellers so they can keep all of the good body parts for themselves. Though Pai insists that the change will improve the internet for Americans, most Americans reject his claim and fear that the FCC will use slower internet to harvest all of the good kidneys so they can bury them in the ground.
The decision will now head to court where the second movie in the net neutrality trilogy will take place. It is currently in pre-production with the FCC but could switch hands if the imminent Disney merger with the Federal government goes through as planned.