Thoughts and Prayers Stocks Fall to an All Time Low
After recent natural disasters like the near end to Net Neutrality, the norm as we’ve seen it is changing, and could affect the stock market. For years, “thoughts and prayers” have been stable forces in the market thanks to being an all-time go-to tweet and Instagram graphic with a scenic backdrop, but now citizens are voicing new opinions such as “Let’s end this thoughts and prayers shit and DO something,” “STOP your thoughts and prayers,” and "U up?"
Americans are beginning to catch on that perhaps thoughts, and also prayers, do not do actually anything at all after mass shootings occur.
“Yeah I’ve honestly been buying a lot of stock in Thoughts and Prayers for years but, we’re selling now because pedophiles and Bitcoin,” says local man @JesusIsMyKing.
“I’ll still tweet my thoughts and prayers because it makes me look, like, humanitarian,” says Karen.
Stocks are expected to rise again during winter months when we’ll be seeing on average two inches of snow; also increasing sales of bread and milk.