Bachelor Recap: Episode 2 "Re-Interupted"
Would I consider myself someone who watches the Bachelor? No. Do I? Yeah, but I'm not nuts.
I missed the first episode because, like I said, I'm not NUTS about The Bachelor. But I'm going to recap every episode, providing my intelligent insight and predictions for the rest of the season. Not that I want to or anything. Fuck the Bachelor. Ha.
Nick Viall low key is kinda hot in a weird way. I feel like he used to be fat with a lisp. But this is the fourth time he's appearing on The Bachelor/Bachelorette/Paradise. I have concluded that he is certifiably crazy but not as crazy as Corrine. There's always that one contestant, and that contestant is Corrine. Corrine is female Chad, if you saw last season of The Bachelorette. What? No I didn't watch The Bachelorette...who's Chad?
Corrine is bat shit and I think she is drunk all the time.
This episode's group date was some crazy-ass wedding photoshoot. If I ever go on a first date with someone and he talks wedding photos...you bet your ass I'm staying with him because I am desperate for commitment.
Sarah is hot and was given only a bikini bottom to wear for an Adam and Eve themed shoot. I don't know why we're sexualizing the Old Testament but that's for another blog. But Corrine was so mad that Sarah was topless that Corrine took off her OWN top and asked Nick to grab her upper chest area with his bare hands. Nick obliged. The other women gasped. But...Corrine, trouble making female Chad without the anger management (thus far), WON the photoshoot contest!!! AND THEN later THAT NIGHT she kept interrupting the other girls' alone time...AND THEN WON A ROSE RIGHT AWAY!!! SO Nick only wants TITS.
Corrine is so far the ONLY one playing the game and when you're the only contestant... you win by default.
I expected ONE of these ladies to STEP UP and LEVEL UP with Corrine and go BALLS OUT and say YES BITCH I can GRAB HIS ATTENTION TOO...
I was let down. These girls did not have said balls. But maybe that's the classy decision which I respect.
Taylor grew a very minuscule pair when she got back up (after letting Corrine interrupt her) and went back over to Nick and Corrine. Corrine was PISSED. She said, and I quote "She re-interupted me, that's the rudest thing anyone can do." (Or something like that, she definitely said "re-interupt.") Taylor also wants to have eye ball intercourse instead of kissing him. That's cool, too.
Danielle is cute and she got a one-on-one date which is cute. We find out her fiancé overdosed on drugs. So I hella love and feel for this girl. And Nick was really nice about it and gave her good advice to remember the fiancé's love and goodness. He admired her strength. Ugh, I want Danielle to find love.
But I really wanna talk about crazy girl #2, Liz, who looks like Sarah Palin.
Crazy girl #2 apparently has already met Nick and told Christen (who's so cute) that she F*CKED HIM at a wedding! LIKE WHAT? And so she exposed the truth, after telling us 37 times, during the second group date. I am just realizing how weird I sound. But so then Nick and Sarah Palin had a one on one, and Nick SENT. HER. HOME. This is the biggest diss of 2017. He ghosted TF out of her because he got the vibes that she was only in this for the fame. I don't know if we all could've dealt with the tension she brought for another episode.
Who IS Nick Viall? Is he only in this for babes? Or does he want a wife? Previews for next week's episode show that the girls are FED UP. I hope they all leave!!
WHY do 20 girls get together to date the same guy? WHY do they cry when someone else kisses him? WHY do they think they're in love with someone they don't know? Maybe we will find out. Stay tuned. See you guys next week for Dania's Bachelor Recap. Bring your own wine please.
Nick if you are reading this, and if you got dumped again, I'm available.