Hulk Hogan Can Save America With A Single Leg Drop
Just to be clear, this article would have been called Macho Man Randy Savage Can Save America With A Single Elbow Drop, but unfortunately the Macho Man gave his final "OHHH YEEEEEEEAH" five sad years ago. Was always a Macho Man guy even though he was never really around when I was growing up, but I digress. Hogan is the next best thing and America needs him at this very moment. We have problems in foreign lands and even more problems in our own home land. The biggest problem in today's America is probably racism. Some say racism is a thing of the past but if you ask me, race relations haven't improved much since the 20th Century, and the rise of police brutality does not help alleviate the problem in the slightest. But if one man knows how to take on racism head on, or shall I say "Leg on," it's the Hulkster.
As many are already aware, Hogan knows best. So there is really no arguing with him on anything. The guy is like the IBM machine from Jeopardy in red and yellow tights. He can literately do no wrong. Also, he loves everybody; not a racist bone in his body. I don't see any racial requirements on the sign up sheet for the Hulkamaniacs. He's probably already got the whole "saving America" thing planned, but listen here Hogan: WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN I GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE ON HOW TO STOP RACIAL OPPRESSION IN AMERICA BROTHER? Well first I would hope that he would listen to me and take my advice. But who knows what he will do after that. (Kind of a tangent, but Hulk Hogan kept asking the same question when ever he would cut a promo. Do you ever think he just wanted an answer?)
Here's what's going to happen, Hulk. It's gonna be Wrestlemania Thirty-something, and you are going to single leg-edly end racism. You're going to come out and hype the crowd up; do your whole song and dance. Then you're going rip your shirt off and point straight at the camera and say "I'm coming for you racism!" After that you're going to fight a match against racism. At first you'll get beat up but with the help of ALL the Hulkamaniacs, no matter what color they are, you will get fired up and start to fight back. Then, when this country needs you the most, you will drop the biggest leg drop ever on racism and pin it for good: 1, 2, 3!
"I am a real American..." will echo through whatever super stadium the event will be held at , as Rick Derringer soars through the arena slaying on the guitar. Everyone, no matter the race, will lock arms and sing Hulk Hogan's theme song together as a HUMAN RACE. Racism will then be cremated in front of the audience. There wont be a dry eye in the house folks. And that's how Hulk Hog--- Okay so turns out Hulk Hogan is actually a huge racist. Ignore this post, have a great day everyone.