No Shot Water Gun Emoji Stops Gun Violence
Straight up, I am just annoyed that I'm writing about this. I am annoyed this is a thing. Does anyone out there really think that a gun emoji is why people shoot up schools and night clubs? That's like saying the sick emoji led to the spread of zika. You wouldn't even be able to make an emoji face that fit in your iMessage to represent the zika virus because the heads are like twice the size.
Now, I understand that some will say, "Hey, why was it an emoji in the first place?" Well, duh, you idiots. How else would upper-class suburban white kids express how hard they are in their Instagram captions? You have to be reminded that you should NEVER mess with someone who is wearing Vineyard Vines. Not even Suge Knight, a.k.a baddest, meanest mo'fo on the planet, would start with someone wearing the whale. Whale mob will merk you bruh. Don't even program your GPS to register within 5 miles of their yacht club. You'll get audited.
I guarantee someone will get upset about this tweet, but the truth behind it is valid. If you are someone who wants to hurt people you will find a way to do it. It is not because of an emoji. It is because you are most likely a psychopath. It isn't like now that the emoji is gone everyone will just forget that real guns are a thing. This is worse than moms that think violent video games lead to serial killers. Call of Duty may desensitize some folks, but what is the alternative? A board game maybe? What about Hungry Hungry Hippos? If you're to assume that kids will imitate video game warfare wouldn't that mean kids will start feeding hippos marbles? I am no doctor, but I think if kids starts ramming marbles down hippos the hippos will die. Or the kids will die via the hippo. What about Don't Wake Daddy? Yikes. If that game isn't actually about domestic violence then I don't know what is. Maybe we should take the belt emoji away so Daddy stops beating us when we wake up in the middle of the night. Or stop playing Chris Brown on the radio. Either way raise your kids and stop blaming the distractions you give them so you can binge watch Scandal while drinking a glass of wine.