TAKE IT EASY SHAUN WHITE!!!!
Listen Shaun, you didn't have to do this. We already know you're totally gnar. We already know you're dope as hell. No one asked you to prove it to us, but there you go doing weird shit like this. You were America's favorite son, America's sweetheart, The second coming of Carrot Top. But look at you now. Now you're just, as I suspected, a very weird dude.
First things first lets grab the elephant in the room by the tusks. The spelling of your name is RIDICULOUS. There's no reason for your name to be spelled that way. Your name should just change itself. Like I want your name to take over your brain like Ivan Ooze's purple goo in The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Movie and go and get your dumb name changed. Literately just change it to Shawn. Even Sean, just change the damn thing.
The weird name spelling of such a simple name is annoying and I can get over it but this next bombshell I will drop on you will open your eyes. You won't be surprised that Shaun White forced a girl to watch "Church of Fudge," a hardcore porn with a little bit of priests, a little bit of nuns and whole lotta dookie. When I hit you with the devastating truth, you'll understand that this same man would send woman pictures of "engorged and erect penises." Now strap on your seatbelts because here it is: Shaun White publicly announced that he likes Mountain Dew. Now you make think that I am making it up and trying to ruin this guy's reputation even more but guess what idiots, I'm not. The proof is in the piss colored, carbonated pudding:
I didn't want to do it to you Shaun, but when you're out here making females watch videos of people having sex on top of bear corpses, I'm going to take the opportunity and expose you for who you really are. A Mountain Dew drinking, dookie loving weirdo.