Ellen Offends Masses
The Queen of Millennials has fallen! Well, stumbled. Kind of? We jumped into the Usain Bolt Meme Olympics yesterday and so did Ellen. Ellen owns daytime television and prides herself on being so in touch with the mindless youth of America, but this time her relatability came back to bite her in the mom jeans.
If you're Ellen I do not blame you for posting this meme. It's become part of a television personality's job to maintain a social media presence, or at least have an intern do it. The joke in itself is very eh for me, but the minute I saw this I ran into the replies faster than Usain Bolt with Ellen on his shoulders because I knew middle-aged white men and fifteen-year old white girls were going to start whipping her with "this is so slavery like i can't even."
Wow, I was spot on. This was the very first tweet I saw in her replies. This guy so tucks his undershirt shirt into his underpants, both perfectly white, and he definitely says "underpants." He turned his Twitter name into a Jon Snow pun for his own name. The truth behind this is if you're asking if that's the first thing that pops into your head that is 100% the first thing that popped into your head. You just felt bad about it so you sent a tweet to cover your own racist sub-conscience. Take that you self-righteous human paraquat (citing my source for that insult: The Dude). One more thing, I bet he laughed at Ellen's joke, or at least wanted to laugh. He definitely wanted to laugh so bad. I say wanted because white guys like this don't laugh at jokes anymore, they just get silent and think "I want to laugh at this but it is insensitive. I am such a naughty fellow. I am wearing khakis."
Honestly, like honestly, I am so honestly offended; like honestly. Here's your caramel iced coffee. Um, where's the milk. I need milk for this. I'm like so honestly offended, This is Starbucks we serve our coffee black. Milk is over there. Um, black. Seriously? Like, seriously? I don't even see color. I can't even.
I stopped after a few because i almost imploded. Ellen was forced to send an apology tweet and maybe mentioned it on her show (I didn't catch it). Look at her apology tweet. Does anyone out there REALLY think Ellen wasn't aware of racism when the meme was posted? She is the voice of Dory! She tells you to just keep swimming! 42 P. SHERMAN WALLABY WAY SYDNEY! By the time I post this the whole thing probably won't matter, but that's the point. It was a meme. Even if it tickles the wrong nerve, tweets have a shelf life of about 90 seconds. So listen to Dory and just keep swimming through your meaningless tears until the next celebrity makes you mad because you think you're supposed to be mad. Also, if you're Usain Bolt or a black person you have a case to be tight. It wasn't the smartest of memes, especially since the joke supporting it was weak to say the least. If you're going to offend millenials, which is so ridiculously easy, at least make it count.
Update: That first guy made his Twitter account private. If you throw yourself into the fire that is replying to celebrity tweets as if they'll answer, you can't pull out. You have to deal with the attention and roll with the punches. This man is weak. It is the perfect example of the person that gets upset about something Ellen tweets. Also, I put your tweet in this post right before you went private so ha. Reply to my tweets now!