BELATED BREAKING NEWS: Ice T's Dog, Spartacus. Dies; Rapper Heart Broken
In light of tragedy, I'd like to lighten the mood and point out that Ice T's dog, Spartacus, was packing an absolute schlong. I'm not one to stare, but this dog was packing heat. Don't expect anything else honestly. Obviously Ice T's dog's dick would HANG. But lets get serious. I'm feeling for the BodyCount front man. No one deserves to lose a dog, especially a bulldog. As a proud owner of a bulldog, I know the connection that is created and I am here for you Ice T.
You seriously have to take into consideration how tough Ice T is. This guy grew up in Compton and basically was one of the innovators of Gansta Rap. He's seen it all. He's probably seen a friend or two die. Not to mention the horrific crime scenes he deals with on Law & Order. He's a hardened man with a rough exterior shell like that of a pineapple. But once you get a dog, that rough exterior shell begins to break down and you slowly become the equivalent of a living, breathing jar of apple sauce. You're soft and sensitive to anything that dog does. It is like having a small hairy human that will drop a number two at anytime with no regard. Despite the unannounced fecal droppings, all the dog does is love. That's all it knows to do. It's hard to talk about but that's life. Whoever invented having dogs as pets is an asshole.
I really have nothing left to say. The dog passed on the 27th and I'm sure the man is still a mess. I'm with you Mr. Ice, we all are. R.I.P. Spartacus.